Really Loni Love? Let me hit this one too since I've ALSO heard this one from some women in and outside of our group and it always ticks me off. You say there's a shortage of available Black men and you're correct to a point. But let's not forget about the Black women who will walk right past the Black men that ARE available shall we?
I'm talking about the Black women (and women period!) who say "He's too fat/thin/short/tall/dark/light/doesn't dress well enough/dresses too well/doesn't have a job that's "good enough"/has too many jobs/doesn't have enough hair/has too much hair/doesn't have enough education/has too much education and all the other "excuses" some Black women will come up with to disqualify available Black men. I have heard them ALL and it frustrates me to no end to hear these women complain about a "shortage of Black men" when I know hundreds of SINGLE AVAILABLE GOOD BLACK MEN that just aren't "enough" for some of these women!
The problem is you women are looking for the perfect Black man you have created IN YOUR MIND to come into your life, sweep you off your feet and make your dreams and fantasies come true. Naw shawty, it don't work like that. That's goes for ANY man not just Black men. SEVERAL times I have seen with my own eyes women walk past GOOD men with GOOD jobs who are looking for a WIFE in order to join a crowd of women around a handsome guy just looking for a good time for one or two nights. They will ignore the man that pulls out their chair, stands when they do, ensures they make it safely to their car or home, doesn't pressure them for sex and simply wants to get to know them in order to join the harem of the "hot guy" every other woman wants. They will ask us "Who are the "good guys" looking for a relationship?" and when we tell them they say "Oh he's too this or that." and immediately dismiss them. But the smart ones? I LOVE them to death! They are my absolute favorite LADIES since they have a totally different mindset. They don't see a fat balding guy that's not dressed that well. They see a guy with potential. So guess what? They go up to him and introduce themselves and get to know him. Then they make plans to go and hang out. Next thing we know, they're out walking together and that little "belly" he had is disappearing. Then we see them attend an event together and he looks like a new man! He tells us how they went shopping together and how she helped him pick out some new clothes and a new hairstyle. Then they're spending all their time together happily, taking trips and making plans for their future. The next thing we know it's been a year and they're engaged to be married while the women that said he was "not enough" are STILL sitting there "single & looking" and wondering why they didn't see the "diamond in the rough" he was when they had the chance. black wedding guest dress
So please stop with the "Black man shortage" excuse since that is ALL it is. You don't have to lower your standards, you just have to expand your horizons. You dismiss the Black guy that works construction, works in sanitation or works a job that YOU feel is beneath YOU but fail to realize he's a good man that works hard and makes good money that pays the BILLS. You dismiss another because he doesn't have a degree like you do but fail to realize he has more intelligence, wisdom and common sense than any of your Ivy League friends with 5 degrees because he had to fight for what he has and is self taught and educated. You ignore the guy that works in the garage because he has grease under his nails and wonder how you could ever take him to a black tie affair but fail to realize he is just as at home at a black tie dinner as he is in a garage because he OWNS the garage and attends business dinners often. Basically you pre-judge based on appearances and fail to get to know the PERSON. So you could be dismissing your "King" right out of your life before he even enters it due to your own prejudice. If you stopped looking for a dream man and started looking at REAL men you just might find one. I personally know several women that did and they are very happy they let go of their personal prejudice and allowed themselves to be open to receive love no matter what it looked like, where it worked, how tall or short it was, how much hair it did or didn't have and above all not caring what others may think. When you can let go of ALL of that bullshyt and stop making excuses for YOUR self made prejudice only then will you be able to see all the amazing, wonderful, awesome, GOOD AVAILABLE Black men there are out here. Step YOUR game up and you might just be blessed to get one ;)